Sunday Song Day: "In Your Eyes", "Don't Need Anything", How Ian and I met / fell in love / have grown forward together for 15 years + How Paleo and Keto are Killing You with TMAO
I’ve touched upon my frustrations with folks brushing off facts as “opinions” in this past post illuminating how eggs are rotting you from the inside out; but a secondary head-shaker is when souls similarly state that I am “biased” so these facts aren’t worth absorbing. Even when the American Heart Association, National Institutes of Health, United Nations, our Leading Doctors, and many more are saying the same damn thing.
There are many past posts to link to, but let’s be clear: my “bias” was toward refined carbs, cow’s breastmilk (all day every day as long as it was cheese or ice cream), and animal flesh. My zeal for chicken wings was matched by an equally harmful/cruel love of bacon and pulled pork. For far too many years, my favorite dinner was crushed up Doritos and Sharp Cheddar Cheese.
How did I change from a gluttonous, world-ruining, health-destroying soul “biased” to flare with rage when preached to by a vegan, to one of forward movement and healing?
I listened, learned, and grew forward.
As Crystal and I have been meeting and working on our own path of forward movement, she said a phrase so perfect it’s been rattling in my brain ever since: “People aim to be ignorant.”
Folks know better, but I hear often that they don’t want to listen to all these facts I’m hollering because it’ll make them change their habits, and they’re just not willing and ready to do so.
Will you be ready when it’s too late and we have water shortages and global famine because you couldn’t grow beyond your selfish diet? Will you be ready when the oceans have acidified beyond repair? Will you be ready when you find you need a stent to open up the arteries you’ve filled with the fats of another soul? Will you be ready when you find out even your children have cardiovascular disease from what you’ve been feeding them? (<—FACT: cardiovascular disease starts with infants, and our Standard American ten-year-olds already have fatty streaks in their veins which shows they are marching right toward the #1 cause of death in America: cardiovascular disease. <—HOW CAN ANYONE BE OK WITH THAT?!)
Continue for: Sunday Song Day (“In Your Eyes”, “Don’t Need Anything”), the vast arc of change in the 15 years of knowing and loving Ian (how we met, how we fell in love, how we are perpetually growing forward together), how your Paleo and Keto diets are killing you and the planet (but hey, you weigh less so that’s all that matters, right?), and three full days of a family thriving on a plant-based diet.
Live Kindly, Feast Kindly, Grow Forward. PLEASE! Before it’s too late!
Plant-Based Whole-Food Kiddo Breakfast: sweet cinnamon overnight oats, raw raspberry sauce, banana, flax meal, and cashew cream.
A piece of Friday’s Sci-Fi Enthusiast Homeschooling. Shai-Huluds for days. <3
Plant-Based Lunch: red curry with black rice noodles, green beans, bell peppers, snap peas, green onions, and furikake.
Chocolate Mint Nice Cream (<—use cocoa powder and a few drops of mint extract) topped with cashew cream.
Q’s first attempt at drawing a comic. “It’s a robot coming upon a turret spider, and he picks him up and the spider makes a web of hearts to show that they’re gonna be friends.” <3
Plant Based Dinner: full bed of romaine covered with roasted squash, mushrooms that had been seared with lentil loaf and peppers, ruby kraut (<—red cabbage), easy avocado, green onions, furikake, and coconut aminos.
Nightly Reading
Both those children’s books were from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, both have beautiful messages.
Plant-Based Whole-Food Breakfast I failed to photograph until it was almost gone. :-)
It was half an apple, some raspberries, cashew cream, and protein bars made out of the crust ingredients from the cashew cream cake.
Ian had off on Friday, so he came to pick berries with us and we got twelve and a half pounds! <3
Plant-Based Lunch: red curry with black rice noodles, lettuce, green beans, bell peppers, squash, carrots, ruby kraut, green onions, and furikake.
Dessert: sweet cinnamon overnight oats, raw raspberry sauce, flax meal, and cashew cream.
When you’re working outside and your sweet-souled son keeps blowing you kisses and flashing you hearts. <3
He continues to draw most of the day, and a current obsession has been the sandworm from Beetlejuice. The level of detail he’s throwing into these drawings is quite impressive for a 5 year old, and it’s all thanks to the artful guidance of his father.
Afternoon smoothie: blueberry, mango, orange, oatmilk. Smoothies are a great way to get a variety of plants into your gut.
Plant-Based Family Feasting: quinoa, refried black beans, braised carrots, tomatoes (with a pickled jalapeno brine, made similar to the Balsamic Tomatoes), easy avocado, bell peppers, a deep bed of mixed greens under it all, and the last shreds of Good Planet (Plant Based) Cheese.
Solo Nightly Reading (We’d stayed up late watching Lego Masters with Q and it was too late for our usual reading).
Morning Chalkboard reflecting his current obsession (and per his request).
Stone’s Throw Farm CSA pick-up with my beloved Crystal amid pandemic space parameters.
Crystal over there in the distance picking herself from flowers and herbs in the you-pick patch.
The beauty of South Onondaga’s valley.
How did I come to know and love this beautiful valley? I met Ian in my last year of college.
Above is the first picture I ever took of Ian. It’s early September of 2005. Hurricane Katrina had just happened, one of my English professor friends had a friend/single-mother who had lost everything, and I had the idea to do a silent art auction with folks from college and the community in the hope of raising some money for her.
I’d seen Ian around campus, had never spoken to him, but knew he was an art student. Despite my inner anxiety and robust shyness, I summoned up the strength to approach him and some of his friends with a flyer explaining what I was up to, and asked if they wanted to help out. Ian didn’t hesitate a breath and was essential in the creation of the show. Here seen, he’s strapping some wood to the top of my ol’ beloved Eagle Summit. He’d use that wood to make backings for all of our work.
For a few weeks there was a group of us working together to organize the show, and I found myself drawn to Ian, but was held back by the fact that I was in a relationship. That man I was dating was both physically and emotionally abusive, I should have known better than to tolerate that nonsense, but abuse was something I was used to, and I was too weak to cut the cord.
That soul broke up with me shortly after the show, and I was silently crying in the last row of our Art History class, Ian slipped me a note urging me to cheer up.
The photo below is the first picture I have of Ian and I together. It’s a few days after the heartbreak (<— I can now recognize that it was ridiculous to mourn an abuser, but I wasn’t as strong then), and as I am driving a group of us down to the Syracuse Mall, Ian is trying to cheer me up by blowing bubbles at me. <3
What followed was a whirlwind week of us talking on AOL Instant Messenger for almost the entire night, every night. We had no end of things to share, an array of things that bound us, and it was paired with a volley of differences that evened it all out. We were souls who had been searching for the right partner, and so we were one of those couples that were serious from the very start.
As I have explained before, my diet was also ATROCIOUS. When we first started dating, a common dinner was Doritos, every day was filled with candy, and vegetables were so rare that I could go months without consuming anything green. It was Ian who shook me awake and implored me to start eating some vegetables so I could actually live long enough to grow old with him.
Additionally, when Ian met me I was incredibly weak and misguided. To this day I am astounded that he was interested in my crazy self, because so many of my thoughts were myopic, my fears were irrational, my temper was nuclear, and my depression was so epic it was impossible for me to look beyond my own misery.
It was Ian who kept pulling me forward. It was Ian who always tried to be the voice of reason when I was thinking backwards. If I’d been left to my own devices, I would have continued wallowing in my own melancholic brainspace and eaten myself to death.
Early on, my focus was perpetually centered and fraught with the concern of making sure others liked me. I’d twist myself into all sorts of shapes and versions to appease them, and it didn’t matter how cruel they were to me, it still mattered deeply that I was liked. I swallowed down all my thoughts and my passions, and bit my tongue.
Through our years together, it was Ian who was always pushing me to be myself and speak my mind. It was Ian who instilled in me the belief that we can always become better and we should always be growing forward. Because of his support and inspiration, I eventually grew myself a spine and found mental peace. I even taught myself how to cook (ditching the processed foods I loved dearly) and grew into this plant-based whole-food powerhouse.
It is a dang wonder that we have entered into this new realm where my voice is a klaxon clanging cacophony that doesn’t care a speck if I’m popular or “liked”. What matters more? That a sensitive standstill soul sees me favorably, or the sustainability of this whole earth?
There are a lot of songs that are “our” songs, but the earliest (so early that that photo above is us singing it at my karaoke birthday party October 2005) was Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”.
Early on, I said to Ian, “I love so many things about this song, but that line about ‘working hard for our survival’ is off-putting because it seems like the relationship is so rough he has to keep working at it.” To which Ian replied, “I think you’re hearing it wrong. It means survival in terms of providing for them, and that’s why he feels so relieved when he gets home to her.”
Ian opened my mind to a whole different view of “In Your Eyes”, just like he opened my eyes to a whole different view of this earth and what it meant to be truly loved.
We’ve now had 15 years together, and we’ve encountered many a hurdle. We moved away together, we navigated New York City during the 2008 recession and when things were so bad we were on food stamps, we had myriad careers and professions (where I dealt with some disgusting sexual harassment and even had to navigate New York City Small Claims Court when a boss refused to pay me after I resigned), we’ve been through the death of my mother, he’s been the shoulder as I have had multiple bestfriend breakups that shattered my over-sensitive heart, we stumbled through infertility and then finally became parents to a soul who dazzles us daily, and after we hit rock bottom we turned our back on a food culture so ingrained that our loved ones care naught if those foods are killing themselves and the planet our son will inherit.
It’s been one of the hardest years of our lives, and yet we’ve never been stronger or more in love.
And it so often comes back to this song, especially now when these lyrics make my environmental heart wail:
Love, I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive
For a woman who was so preoccupied with admiration of others, it doesn’t escape me for one second that now my focus is “working so hard for our survival” and that of every species on this planet…popularity be damned.
What’s the light-hearted mantra that counters the catharsis of “In Your Eyes”?
It’d be Glen Phillips “Don’t Need Anything.” Glen Phillips was the lead singer of Toad The Wet Sprocket, which was a band young-me adored because my eldest brother was a BIG fan of them (he even ran their website and is thanked on the liner notes of Coil). My brother was my childhood idol (anything he liked, I liked), so I grew up loving anything Glen put out.
The first time I heard this song I remember thinking, “Man, wouldn’t it be nice to be in a mental place like that!” I was so far from this level of positivity that I couldn’t imagine it’d be my reality, and yet here we are. There are souls I’ve lost along the way, this household is tight-budgets and do-it-yourself living, but I wouldn’t change a thing…except humanity’s devastating diet. That I’ll be attempting to change until the day I die.
I've got gardens growing, got quiet days
Clothes on my back, food on my plate
Got friends to help me if I call for them
I don't need anything that I don't have
I've got eyes to see this beautiful land
And feet to take me where I want to stand
If there's work to be done
There's these two strong hands
I don't need anything that I don't have
I don't need anything that I don't have
Some years the rains don't come
And some years floods clear out the plains
If those waters washed this town away
I would still have enough
If [he] was with me
I've a roof overhead, the stars if I choose
But I've got no itch to fly, got no need to move
Got almost nothing
But I understand
That I don't need anything that I don't have
I don't need anything that I don't have
Q’s Plant-Based Whole-Food Breakfast: sweet cinnamon overnight oats topped with banana, cashew cream, almond butter, and fresh peaches compliments of Crystal.
Saturday’s CSA Array
Ian helped me dice up all the CSA vegetables while we listened to this Dr Kim Williams podcast again (“THE FOOD WE EAT IS KILLING US WITH CARDIOLOGIST DR KIM WILLIAMS”), and I made three quick, raw sauces to get us through the week: parsley/pistachio/lemon, “Holy Moly!”, and Pesto with paprika.
Plant Based Lunch: full bed of kale and lettuce covered with roasted squash, braised carrots, mushrooms that had been seared with lentil loaf and peppers, easy avocado, green onions, snap peas, and furikake. Topped with a toasted sesame dressing (<—not whole food).
Q’s breakfast looked so good, that I decided to have the same as dessert but topped it with flax meal.
Packed Q this tiny cashew cream cake to bring along to the barbecue he was attending with Ian.
Why’d I stay back? My heart/nerves/brain can’t handle breaking bread with folks who are going to eat the animal products ruining our environment and Q’s future.
Instead, I did some cathartic cooking and prepared for a visit with Steph (<—one of my dearest ladyfriends and a soul I haven’t visited with since February.)
Seared up fresh garlic scapes, broccoli, peppers, and mushrooms and tossed them with Quinoa. Delicious hot or cold, quinoa is a “complete protein” so this is a super filling and an easy family meal.
Steph and I had several hours of cathartic catching-up, I sent her home with as much plant-based whole-food feasting as she could carry, and then I breathed in this yard view before watering these weather withered plants.
Ian and Q were gone so long I found myself reading solo for a second night and falling asleep alone for the first time in years. :-)
Below you’re going to get some illumination from award-winning gastroenterologist Dr Will Bulsiewicz (from his book “Fiber Fueled”, seen above) about Paleo and Keto diets and how they are a terrible idea if health is your aim.
This is personal, because Ian was eating a variant of these two diets when I gave him the ultimatum to change to Plant-Based. People love to rage and wail about this, but maybe if you actually READ/LISTEN/ABSORB the information below you’ll understand that I was saving his life.
Would you have had the courage to stand up to your soulmate in such a way? Could you understand how hard it was and how important it was to do? Could you understand that the only reason I illuminated this dark pit of our relationship, is because I often hear folks say things akin to, “I’d make these changes but my partner isn’t on board…”
If you find yourself eating foods that are killing you (and the earth) just to make another soul comfortable, you should take a breath and acknowledge the pure cowardice in that decision. The alternate side of that breath is speaking up and saving the lives of the ones you love before it is too late.
Just like Ian had to push me to eat vegetables, and then had to push me to kick refined carbohydrates to the curb, I had to shake Ian awake to the harm he was doing to himself, our son, and the environment. His arteries could look like that last image right now if I hadn’t, and my arteries would have looked the same if I had joined him. Given how much cardiovascular disease is rampant in my gene pool, this would have been the death of me.
From Undo It by Dr Dean Ornish.
My son has seen these images and he wonders how folks can eat his future, harm another soul for naught, and do this to their cardiovascular systems (and their kin’s) at the same time. I wonder the same thing, because after learning better there was no going back.
What’s the most impactful thing you can do as an individual to help your kin, community, millions of species, and planet? Transition as plant-based as possible.🌎♥️
Why? Plant-Based foods are environmentally imperative 🌎. They also promote ideal health💪 (which takes stress off our overburdened health care system), are inexpensive🙌, delicious🤤, & compassionate. 💕
Why imperative, though? 🤔We’re approaching (& have crossed) climate tipping points that will doom our kin & millions of other species. 😱📣Reducing/eliminating animal products is the *most impactful thing an individual can do* to prevent worse. 🌎🔥
Why? Animal Agriculture creates more emissions than the entire transportation sector combined, it’s tied to water waste/loss/pollution (<-- freshwater is our most precious resource💧), land loss/deforestation (<-- exacerbates climate change by reducing our ability to sequester carbon🔥🌎), ocean acidification (<-- FYI 50-85% of earth’s oxygen originates from oceanic plankton🌊) & vast species loss/extinction/suffering💔📣🌎
Plus, consuming animal products is tied to increased risk of cardiovascular disease❤️🩹, diabetes👎, cancer👎, and chronic disease👎; whereas Plant-Based feasting is linked to preventing/reversing some of our most common diseases (<— like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and cancer); plus it promotes ideal health & robust strength (ie Olympians, Weightlifters, Endurance Athletes are thriving via PBWFs too). 🎉🙌♥️
What organizations are promoting plant-based diets for best health and environmental stability? National Institutes of Health, Mayo Clinic, Yale, the United Nations, Harvard School of Health, American Heart Association, American College of Cardiology, American Cancer Society, American Diabetes Association, The American Academy of Pediatrics, National Kidney Foundation, even the Parkinson’s Foundation.
We’re all overwhelmed in one way or another, but for the sake of our kin (and the millions of species we share this planet with) we need to start pivoting forward. As someone who once rarely ate green things & used to eat animal products at every meal, I can assure you that is possible, affordable, enjoyable, & purposeful to pivot Plant-Based. In fact, our whole family is now healthier/stronger than ever. 🙌♥️
Anecdotally, our son had failure-to-thrive, was also plagued with perpetual ear-infections/sinus-infections, and had an omnipresent runny nose. What was he eating? Grass-fed milk, organic/antibiotic-free/grass-fed/local meats, eggs from organic-fed/well-loved chickens from a neighbor, every meal came with vegetables, and we limited junkfood. He was healed via a plant-based diet: he’s launched out of that diagnosis and the last time he had a sinus-infection (or was sick at all) was in 2019 when he had some cheese at a school Christmas party. Before shifting to PBWF’s he was sick every month, and how he’s a robust, vital, thriving kiddo. 🙌🎉♥️
If you think any of the above sounds over-reached/absurd/impossible, please go read the links above. I understand the inclination to hackle-raise (<—because I was once totally there) but the science is clear: any step we make forward is imperative (<—and again “STEPS” is the focus. Don’t leap, just start making steps!). It’s as simple as starting with one meal a week and growing from there.💕
We have the ability (deliciously, healthfully, kindly, inexpensively) to *preserve/protect* the planet we share with millions of species & our kin. How are we going to use that power today?✌️🤟🖖
